The Humiliation of Marco Rubio

Or, Little Marco's "thwarted passion"

The memeification of Marco Rubio’s sunken, broken little boy stupidface will not be ignored. Nor will it ever fail to amuse. But it goes a little farther than all that. His disembodied poetics have a haunted quality as does his thwarted passion for being an American statesman, engaged in shuttle diplomacy in the world, which is, after all, a dangerous place. All of this, in its full, poignant tragedy seems to be saying to whomever has the capacity to understand: “I — was once — a man !”

And so he was, once upon a time. Until Marco Rubio was consumed, entirely, by this damned thumotic age.

Walk with me, backwards, to the turn of the Millennium. Marco Rubio is the Colin Powell of the Trump administration. By that I mean that Colin Powell was the fancy window dressing, the Irish lace curtains of Bush the Younger’s administration. He was a silver-haired African-American, credentialed during the Reagan era, with high military honors to boot. Powell classed up Dubya’s slattern Vulcan Cabinet, white silver tressed bros drunk on their own hard power and the boiling urges to make pre-emptive war, particularly after the September 11 terrorist attack in 2001. They all burned to be “Winstons,” part of an administration at war, to be spoken about in hushed tones at the private boys’ academies over filched brandy, as the shapers of the contours of the modern world. Thumotic excess, then; as thumotic excess, now.

Powell, an immigrant held up by the Republican Party as a model for upwards trajectory in America, played by the rules, as did Rubio. A Cuban-American child of immigrants and a foreign policy hawk in the John McCain mold, Marco Rubio was a respected Republican United States Senator from Florida from 2011 to 2025 with working-class bona fides. Before that, he was a Congressman and before that a Miami elected official. He paid off his law school student loans as late as 2012, one year into his Senate career! He was relatable, though seasoned in all aspects of local and national government. From the beginning he was groomed to be the Great Latino Hope.

Though Trump and Rubio had a contentious relationship in the 2016 Presidential election — and, how could they not have? — they became deeper than that. “Trump relied on the Florida senator during his presidency, turning to him on policies relating to Latin America,” Hannah Demissie wrote for ABC News.

So it wasn’t a big surprise when Rubio was one of Trump’s first Cabinet picks and for one of the biggest prizes (sorry Rudy!). Rubio wasn’t exactly a DEI hire for Trump so much as a big orange smooch to Latino men — no Diddy! — who mightily helped him win the 2024 election over a black woman. Trump ultimately led Harris among Latino men by ten points:

At last week’s presser, however, Rubio looked mortified at having to sit there and listen to the charges and possibly planted right-wing media question about whether or not wartime President Zelensky ever owned a suit. Rubio’s reaction spoke multitudes. Someone should make a YouTube compilation of his multitudinous haunted facial expressions until Rubio’s final moments in the Trump administration. Because what Secretary Rubio is going through right now can only be properly construed under the category of “thwarted passion.” He was even spoofed in the SNL cold open last week. Gabriel Sherman of Vanity Fair has an interesting take on Rubio’s amusing physical disenchantment at his role in this administration:

Rubio didn’t seem like a natural MAGA warrior when Trump selected him to run Foggy Bottom. The former Florida senator came up in the Jeb Bush wing of the GOP, and his style still hews establishment. And, of course, Trump and Rubio have history … According to Republicans I spoke with, Rubio’s unhappiness with Trump was brewing before Zelenskyy’s visit went sideways. Two of the sources said Rubio was caught off guard when Trump appointed nine foreign policy “envoys” with high-profile assignments such as ending the wars in Gaza and Ukraine.

“The envoys all have offices in the White House,” one of those sources said, which gives people the impression that the envoys have more access to Trump than Rubio. During his Senate confirmation hearings in January, Rubio said, “The way this will work, and how I anticipate it will work, is these envoys work for the president in coordination with us.”

“A Diplomatic Mess” is how NBC News’s Peter Nicholas described it. Those of us who have followed Trump’s carnage for decades know that he would never completely forgive anyone who had ever insulted the size of his manhood. Further, the crosswires probably keep Rubio — who is loyal, but not a complete loyalist — a bit off guard. If Trump, Season 2 differs from Trump, Season 1 in any way it is most clearly in the way he has leashed anyone underneath him that has not submitted in totality to his majesty. One of those “envoys” to the UK is Mark Burnett, Executive Producer of The Apprentice.

Rubio’s discomfort was commented upon throughout the world, as one might imagine. “Rubio, who didn't intervene during the heated exchange, looked uncomfortable as he sat back on the couch alongside Vance,” wrote Demian Bio for the Latin Times. “Even though he later thanked Trump on X, saying he was ‘standing up for America in a way that no President has ever had the courage to do,’ many in the online world claimed it didn't seem like he wanted to be there.” Which is, clearly, an understatement.

And then there was the matter of last night’s speech, where Trump singled out Rubio. There was more than a hint of menace to it. From William Villancourt of The Daily Beast:

“The Panama Canal was built by Americans for Americans, not for others. But others could use it. But it was built at tremendous cost of American blood and treasure,” Trump said. “It was given away by the Carter administration for one dollar. But that agreement has been violated very severely. We didn’t give it to China, we gave it to Panama, and we’re taking it back.”

“And we have Marco Rubio in charge. Good luck, Marco. Now we know who to blame if anything goes wrong,” Trump said, chuckling.

At least Little Marco knows his “portfolio” now. UK diplomacy is for the former Executive Producer of The Apprentice and Marco has the task of reclaiming the Panama Canal, which cannot possibly be racist because Trump a Latino man is in charge, right (see how the President’s thinking goes)? What fools these mortals be! That was not good natured “chuckling,” but a very public tightening the leash! Trump’s mind-games have gotten even more sadistic, disgusting and involved this time around, even as he delegates more and more power to the Silicon Valley bros, receding into the background, menacingly. If Trump had cartoonishly evil “moustaches” like his evil and creepy billionaire buddy Vince McMahon, he would be twirling them right now while tying a damsel to a railroad track.

Why, ultimately, would anyone serious want to join Trump’s clown parade, which only ever involves two types: His Servants or those he would wish to publicly humiliate? Did Mitt Romney’s humiliating three-star crow dinner teach Rubio nothing? To Trump, Foggy Bottom is a prize with which to lure and trap his most potent enemies in the most public way possible. And now Rubio is in his snare as its cunning meshes close. “One of the sources I spoke with speculated that Rubio will only last in the job 18 months before he resigns,” concludes Snyder in VF. If Rubio lasts 18 months in Trump’s theater of cruelty then he is a lot stronger that I ever imagined. But for willingly stepping into the snare, willingly, in the first place Marco Rubio wins the booby prize.

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“‘This is realpolitik,’ one Asian diplomat told me, wearily, ahead of Trump’s remarks. I granted him and others anonymity to speak candidly about sensitive diplomatic issues. ‘To different degrees, each and every country is now trying to adjust, not only with regard to the U.S. but also other big players.’ After the speech, it was clear the officials and diplomats were done trying to find a positive spin on Trump’s confrontational approach. ‘The U.S. seems to be an inward-looking country for years to come,’ the same Asian diplomat texted me. I’m not among those ready to declare that Trump has suddenly created a new world order of strongmen or spheres of influence run by the U.S., China and Russia. A new world order requires, well, order. What Trump has inspired so far, and ensured would continue for now through his speech, is a period of disorientation. Washington’s friends and foes are being forced to adapt to a U.S. president who creates his own reality, who changes it on a whim and who doesn’t care as much as people thought he would about reality checks, like, say, plunging stock markets. Trump’s words Tuesday night enhanced the sense among foreign officials that their countries need to be ready for dire scenarios on every front, from security to trade.” (Nahal Toosi/Politico)

“The other day, Adrian Walker in The Boston Globe reported the story of Mike Slater, who survived four tours of duty as a U.S. Army infantryman in Iraq and Afghanistan. After suffering PTSD and being rehabilitated by the VA, he began working at the Veterans Center in Springfield, Massachusetts, serving other vets. Last month, as a thank you from his country, Slater was notified by email that his job was terminated, courtesy of orders from DOGE. We can look forward to hundreds of thousands of these stories. At USAID, people who have devoted their careers to alleviating human disease and starvation are being fired by text message and asked to clean out their desks on two days’ notice. Soon, there will likely be far more cruelty and suffering, as needy people lose health coverage under a diminished Medicaid, as more families are broken up by ICE raids, and more immigrant workers stop earning a paycheck for fear of being arrested and deported. It’s not surprising that Trump’s signature is cruelty. This is an entertainer, after all, who got famous with the line ‘You’re fired!’” (Robert Kuttner/TAP)

“Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s hesitant response to the Texas measles outbreak — hinting that vaccination is important, but never fully embracing it — has left many experts wondering: Does the nation's top health official support vaccines or not? Kennedy, the health and human services secretary, wrote in an editorial published by Fox News on Sunday, that the measles-mumps-rubella (MMR) vaccine ‘is crucial to avoiding potentially deadly disease.’ Behind the scenes, however, Kennedy, a vocal, longtime vaccine skeptic, appears to be taking steps to minimizing the importance of vaccination. Under his leadership, two meetings to discuss next steps for vaccines were canceled. And he’s ‘collecting names of potential new members to put on a committee that recommends which vaccines Americans should get and when, according to people familiar with the matter,’ The Wall Street Journal reported Tuesday. As of Tuesday, 159 measles cases had been confirmed in Texas. Most of the sick people, including a young child who died, hadn’t been vaccinated against the virus. Kennedy acknowledged in the editorial that measles — one of the most contagious viruses in the world — is especially risky to unvaccinated people. He stopped short of urging the public to get the MMR vaccine.” (Erika Edwards/NBCNews)

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