On The Slap Heard Round the World

The LAPD have better things to do than arrest Will Smith.

Chris Rock via Wikimedia Commons

Last night, half seriously and half in jest, I called the Will Smith slapping of Chris Rock as well within his rights under Marquess of Queensbury rules. For some reason Chris Rock has gone after Jada Pinkett-Smith with what can only be properly construed as an extraordinary gusto. This half-serious half-jest pronouncement, it should be noted, occurred deep during the lacuna of the “Was it staged” or “Wasn’t it?” part of the evening. And it was at least an hour before there was any clarity and camera angle arguments fortified by Australian and Japanese television clips, before the general consensus was that yes, Virginia, there was indeed a slap heard round the world.

After all, it was the Oscars – Mecca for the film theatrics, comedic presentations and even some quixotic stunting. Not a few observers, even at the present moment, still believe that the slap heard round the world was staged.

But the slap was not staged, we know now. And it should not, of course, have happened.

As I mentioned, this is not the first time Chris Rock has gone after Will Smith’s wife. At the 2016 Oscars ceremony, Rock went after Jada Smith very hard, and in front of her industry peers, which adds an extra layer of discomfort to such an ambitious family. This initial bit of comedic bloodsport occurred in the wake of the Academy awarding all 20 acting nominations to white actors for the first of two consecutive years. Jada had publicly decided to stay home. “Jada says she’s not coming. Protesting. I’m like, ‘Ain’t she on a TV show?’” Rock said, making light of Jada Pinkett-Smith’s #OscarsSoWhite moral stand. “Jada boycotting the Oscars is like me boycotting Rihanna’s panties. I wasn’t invited!" Images of Hollywood elites laughing at the expense of Jada Pinkett-Smith immediately followed. It was such a palpable hit that even Entertainment Tonight asked her to comment about the barb, one week after the fact.

Jada Pinkett-Smith via Wikimedia Commons

Now, clearly, Will Smith should never have laid hands on Chris Rock in front of a billion international viewers at the Academy Awards. But, to paraphrase Chris Rock, I understand …

Chris Rock made what is almost universally acknowledged as a cruel joke against Smith (in front of a billion viewers, besides). Smith, like about 1/3 of women (and about half of African-American women), suffers from alopecia and appeared honestly stung by Rock’s nasty joke. It was the second time at an Oscar ceremony that Rock went after Jada Pinkett-Smith, who was not even a nominee. It was too much for Will Smith, about to have what might be the greatest night of his professional life.

Again I reiterate, vociferously, that walking up on stage and slapping a comedian presenter throwing barbs at wealthy celebrities was the wrong thing to do. But, as Chris Rock once said of a far worse human being, I understand..

Chris Rock will more than survive the slap heard round the world – he will thrive. It should be added that Rock continued the presentation, barely missing a beat, even after the slap. He made a very poor joke, to be sure, but he handled the aftermath like a man. Further, it must be added that Rock acquitted himself elegantly, declining to file a police report after the incident, even though he could not have been happy about being bitch-slapped on an international broadcast. He was, of course, the talk of the after parties.

Chris Rock clearly does not see himself as a victim, and Progressive really shouldn’t either. Quite the contrary. Chris Rock is about to become the subject of a remarkable speculative bidding war for the rights to his next comedy special, where he discusses the incident, at comedic length, whether for Netflix or for HBOMax or for Amazon or for Hulu or what-have-you. Chris Rock is about to become a very, very rich and celebrated comedian – even richer and more celebrated than he already was the day before the Oscar ceremony.

Will Smith via Wikimedia Commons

Should Will Smith have slapped Chris Rock? No, he should not have!  Should there be some sort of an iron-clad rule against any semblance physical violence at the Oscars, say, involving automatic removal from the premises? Yes, of course. Should Will Smith have been arrested? Come on, now. And I have a lot of questions, to be quite frank, for the zero-tolerance Progressives who are okay with the idea of putting him in jail, against the wishes of the so-called victim of this “assault.” Was the #ArrestWillSmith hashtag a really, really dumb overreach?  Yup. The LAPD have far, far smarter things to do than put Will Smith in the pokey for a slap that basically ushered Chris Rock into a higher tax bracket.