Alligator Alcatraz: Trump's Big, Beautiful Distraction
What fresh hell is this? #Medicaid #Corruption #Incompetence
First off — President Trump’s Big, Beautiful Disaster of a Bill just passed by the narrowest of margins with beta-boy JD Vance, his boy wonder, supplying the tie-breaker. But, of course, Trump would rather we talk about Alligator Alcatraz than the nearly $1 trillion in Medicaid cuts. It’s his “Big, Beautiful Distraction.”
Alligator Alcatraz is so obviously a politically engineered distraction calculated to rasp the libs. It has Stephen Miller’s greasy fingerprints smeared all over the entrance to the Dade-Collier Training and Transition Airport. And, further, all over the merch as well. Still, it is instructive to note that even in full-blown Medicaid distraction mode, the politics of Alligator Alcatraz speaks volumes as to the cruelty of which this administration is capable …
Take, for instance the fact that according to the Congressional Budget Office, Trump’s Big, Beautiful Bill — hereafter, 3B — could mean that 12 million people would lose their health insurance. But the Senate version that just passed today actually ratchets up that number to around 17 million people. And they would lose coverage to what I like to call the 3Cs: Cruelty, Corruption and Chaos. The #Incompetence, to be sure, goes wholly without C-ing.
But let us take the alligator bait for a moment, shall we? We are in — how does one say this politely? — uncharted political territory, folks. We find ourselves in a construction that a campy Batman villain might have constructed for the dynamic duo in 1966 (BIFF! BLOOP!). We are now in Alligator Alcatraz country where even Elon Musk, a Presidential ally until just last month, might wind up.
That was actually Trump’s threat — or, joke, I know not which in the land of 3Cs layered on top of 3Bs. The threat is that if Elon does not shut his pie-hole, he might find himself locked up in the reptile exhibit. The days of Musk at Doge seem already like a year ago, but that was just in May. And while, yes, Trump seeks to distract us from (among other things) talking about the $3.2 trillion addition to the debt over the next 10 years, Alligator Alcatraz deserves some sober scrutiny. If only in that it’s furnaces are to be fed by a masked and (now) well-funded bunch of beefy bros that have no problem disappearing brown people.
Further, Alligator Alcatraz deserves some serious scrutiny because this bill will be a massive steroid shot to spectacles of cruelty. Even as Medicaid and food stamps are slashed, Immigration and Customs Enforcement will receive $45 billion for detention facilities as well as $14 billion for deportation operations. Further, funds will be provided for an additional 10,000 new ICE agents by 2029, with signing bonuses. There will also be around $50 billion for Trump’s quixotic Mexican border wall! It’s not just the billionaires that will prosper in the coming years, but the newly constructed right-wing thugocracy. As rural hospitals collapse under the weight of the uninsured, will Trump’s immigration agenda maintain positive approval ratings? Because according to the latest CBS/YouGov poll, those that currently approve of the administration’s “handling” of immigration, believe that Trump is prioritizing the deportation of “dangerous criminals (53%)” and that the deported should get a court hearing first (63%). Good luck on that! Because with MAGA, the cruelty is always, always, always the point.
Some backstory on this dystopian Reptilian detention center. This past May, President Trump started talking about re-opening U.S. Penitentiary Alcatraz, the infamous prison island in San Francisco Bay. The prison gained notoriety for the daring 1962 escape by inmates Frank Morris and brothers Clarence and John Anglin. That breakout was later immortalized in the 1979 film Escape from Alcatraz, starring Clint Eastwood. Alcatraz, which opened in 1934, closed in 1963, just one year after the fabled escape.
But being an expert in Trumpology, I immediately surmised that our President must have caught a late night showing on the film on the teevee that he watches way after everyone else has gone to restorative sleep. Perhaps Trumped up on Turner Classic Movies, or maybe the Fox Movie Channel imbibing a can of diet Coke with Adderall, perhaps? Because POTUS has — how does one say this politely? — lost a little bit on his fastball. Still, he has never lost his love of the television screen, the business and its ratings. Trump is not nearly as sharp as the up-and-coming social climber that once-upon-a-time coveted airtime on that significant 1980s cultural artifact, Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. Quite the contrary; his mind is demonstrably slower and his mental capacity significantly diminished. He regularly veers off message. But Trump’s mind is, oddly, sharp as a steel trap when it comes to Nielsen ratings, which the former Reality Show star studies as seriously and emotionally as he does the NASDAQ.
So when Trump deviates from his talking points with some new, alien train of thought, it often involves some alteration to his carb-loaded media diet. Trump is obsessed with television — which his aides like to call “executive time.” Like last June on the campaign trail, when Trump, inexplicably, started talking about sharks. Like, what the fuck was that all about? you may ask. We will not entertain the possibility that Trump was influenced by the heavy television promotion of the Discovery Channel’s “Shark Week.” (Averted Gaze) Because that would be unbecoming of the leader of the free world.
Which brings us back to the alligators! In Trump’s long, slow intellectual decline, he has taken to comparing immigrants to reptiles. Often. Patrice Taddonio writes on the Frontline blog:
As the opening scene from the FRONTLINE documentary Zero Tolerance explores, Trump recast the lyrics as an anti-immigration allegory — equating people seeking to enter America with killer snakes who would inevitably cause harm to those who welcomed them. Trump built to a crescendo around the song’s last lines, an exchange between the dying woman and the snake:
“I saved you, I saved you, I saved you,” cried that woman.
“And you’ve bit me, heavens why?
You know your bite is poisonous and now I’m going to die.”
“Oh shut up, silly woman,” said the reptile with a grin.
“You knew damn well I was a snake before you took me in.”Trump’s embrace of that comparison kicks off Zero Tolerance, a FRONTLINE documentary that investigates how the president turned anti-immigration fervor into a powerful political weapon. The film’s opening moments depict Trump’s use of “The Snake” in such a way that it’s never before been seen — juxtaposing the then-candidate’s reading with stark images of men, women and children struggling to reach the U.S.-Mexico border.
Charmed, I’m sure. And from that allegory it is only a short epistemological leap to proposing alligators as the immigrants’ jailors. Reptiles guarding reptiles; game recognize game; Stephen Miller and The Donald are One. Because the cruelty is the point. As is, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the dehumanization.
But is anyone actually, truly surprised? Trump's hyper-testosteronal campaign rhetoric always appeared to be reaching for this sort of disgusting teleological endpoint. A place and event destination amenable, theoretically, to a collaborative marketing strategy with an alcohol brand. A space where bros and immigrant-haters can enjoy the spectacle in real time. Maybe the re-introduction of Trump “Super Premium” Vodka as a sponsor? Or beverage of choice? There is a whole new generation of MAGA cohorts that never got a taste of the discontinued liquor. “(T)he company failed to meet the threshold requirements,” according to Gothamist.
We cannot fail to note here that Trump, himself, never tasted his own branded (and did we say once more, discontinued) hard liquor, because he, himself, does not actually drink. But Trump contains multitudes. “Trump—a teetotaler who says he’s never had a drink in his life—claimed during a 2006 interview with Larry King that all the profits from his namesake vodka would ‘go to various studies on alcoholism and everything else,’” noted Michah Spangler for Vice in 2016. Good luck on that as well.
But back to the reptile bloodsport! I have wondered over these months when Trump would usher in an actual reality tv bloodsport competition component to his Presidency, and maybe this is it. Maybe here we are. Some sort of UFC hunger-games/ escape from #ALIGATORALCATRAZ hybrid has fallen upon us.
Sit back, boys and girls. Crack open an ice-cold Trumpweiser (branding, of course, negotiated by Eric). You have no health coverage, which sucks, fer sure, for realsies. But the Trump boys will be working on a 24/7 livestream coverage of immigrants fighting off alligators! Is that too far wide of the mark?
NPR’s Rachel Treisman writes of “Alligator Alcatraz”:
The site's nickname — coined by Florida Attorney General James Uthmeier — references its proximity to the predators of the marshy Everglades, from pythons to alligators to mosquitoes.
. Speaking to reporters before departing for Florida, Trump described the facility as ‘an East Coast’ version of the infamous island prison off the San Francisco coast. When asked if the idea was for detainees to get eaten by alligators if they try to escape, Trump replied, ‘I guess that's the concept.’
‘Snakes are fast but alligators — we're going to teach them how to run away from an alligator. Don't run in a straight line, run like this,’ he said, waving his hands in a zigzag. ‘You know what, your chances go up about one percent.’
Again — Charmed, I’m sure. A question, respectfully, to the “Donfather.” Could migrants who escape the detention center, the pythons, alligators, the above-average hurricane season as well as the mosquitos be granted their freedom and/or citizenship like the Gladiators of ancient Rome? If they put on a good show? Could they be awarded the rudis, a wooden sword signifying their Freedom, by, say, a sponsor of the detention? Would a good show earn the Pollice verso? A sip of the remaining discontinued vintages of Trump vodka, from the Dongfather’s chalice (if, of course, he drank).
Finally: All of that alligator bait is swell-and-lovely. Now, lets move past the side show distraction. What’s going to happen to the millions that lose their health insurance? And how will Trump shield to the Republican members of Congress and their constituents in red-states when their rural hospitals close? Asking, of course, for the midterms. Where the Reckoning awaits …
“Heading into 2024, I anticipated ‘The Year of the Bully,’ referring to Donald Trump, Vladimir Putin, and Benjamin ‘Bibi’ Netanyahu. Now that we are halfway through 2025, using a schoolyard epithet to describe the rulers of the United States, Russia, and Israel was very far short of who they have proven to be. Their world, which is also ours, is enmeshed in wars, vengeance, and repression, and this trio of leaders are at the center and, in many respects, the cause of it all. The ceasefires they announce — in Ukraine, Gaza, and now between Israel and Iran — do not solve problems. Instead, they provide cover for whatever mayhem will come next, because none of these deeply rooted issues has been resolved. Next year, the United States will be celebrating the 250th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence. As a comparison of then and now, it is worth considering who was in charge of the U.S., the Soviet Union, and Israel on the 200th anniversary, in 1976. The United States was led by an unelected president, Gerald R. Ford, the inheritor of Watergate and the humiliation of the U.S. in the Indochina conflicts. He was on his way to defeat in November by Jimmy Carter (only recently ‘Jimmy who?’). At the helm of the USSR was Communist Party General Secretary Leonid Brezhnev, already doddering after a stroke or two and destined to lead the Soviet Union until 1982, as it meandered towards its implosion in 1991. Israel’s Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin would have to resign in 1977 because of a financial imbroglio involving his wife, only to return to power fifteen years later as a peacemaker. He was assassinated by an Israeli right-wing activist in 1995. The current version of political dominance in all three countries has transcended the boundaries of restraint in pursuit of their nationalist self-interested objectives: territorial expansion, trouncing the opposition, and overturning the rule of law.” (Peter Osnos)
“Radio Workshop is part of a growing network of African podcasting initiatives focused on in-depth, narrative-driven storytelling—often producing stories that are underreported or excluded by traditional media. SemaBox, a Nairobi-based podcasting hub, has supported more than a hundred and fifty creators through studio access and training. Similarly, Develop Audio, the company behind the award-winning investigative series Alibi, runs podcast development labs and mentorship programs, equipping emerging producers with skills in investigative storytelling, sound design, and editing. Radio Workshop, which was founded in 2006 as a project to train and mentor young people at community radio stations, has trained more than five thousand young reporters across ten countries, and supported the production of award-winning podcasts that have aired on major platforms like the BBC and NPR. One recent series, Uganda’s Hidden Rainbow, drew international recognition for its unflinching depiction of the persecution of LGBTQ+ communities in Uganda. Another, Zambia’s Sacrifice Zone, tells the story of an eighteen-year-old from one of the world’s most toxic towns, who is torn between resisting the local lead mines polluting his home and joining them in order to make a living. My Whistle, My Voice features an Ethiopian activist combating street harassment of women.” (Maurice O’Niango/CJR)
“I first met Bill Moyers outside the U.S. Embassy in Managua, Nicaragua, during the summer of 1987. I was there working on a spec assignment for a never-to-be-published Vanity Fair article. Bill was there with his public-television crew filming interviews with members of the crowd protesting Ronald Reagan’s proxy war on Nicaragua. I was simultaneously shocked and thrilled to see him there. As a twentysomething aspiring liberal journalist, I already regarded Moyers as a hero. There was nobody and nothing like him on television or anywhere else in the media. The much-abused journalistic cliché of ‘speaking truth to power’ came to life in his work as nowhere else.His dedication was demonstrated by his presence there. In the long history of that unpopular war, Bill was almost certainly the only famous television journalist to pay respectful attention to the people who dutifully marched and chanted against it every Friday morning. The result of his trip, the PBS special The Secret Government: The Constitution in Crisis more than justified my faith.” (Eric Alterman/TNR)
“(Kenyan President) William Ruto governs like an itinerant medieval monarch, and not like the president of a modern democratic state in the age of formal administrative-bureaucratic systems and mass media. He’s constantly on the move, eager to be seen and adored by crowds during tours of specific ethnic voting blocs, make roadside policy pronouncements (that often simply get ignored by bureaucrats), dish out hefty donations at churches and funerals, or launch mostly soon-to-be-stalled ‘development’ projects. And when he’s not on the move, he likes to host delegations of ethnic leaders from different parts of the country at State House Nairobi, or the various state lodges across the country — all in an effort to herd voters into their respective ethnic pens ahead of the 2027 general election. Ruto’s constant campaigning reflects both his personality type (he loves direct adoration from crowds) and political necessity. In just over two years, his administration’s mishandling of economic reforms and politics has eroded both his approval ratings and overall state legitimacy, thereby necessitating the constant campaigning to show that he still has both popular and elite support.” (Ken Opalo/The Africanist Perspective)
”Late last year, Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson pointed out that in 2025, the city could see the lowest level of violent crime in years. In a talk with the City Club of Chicago, Johnson said it was possible that the city could record fewer than 500 homicides this year, a mark not seen since before the spike in violent crime that coincided with the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020. ‘We have an opportunity for less life to be lost if we actually put in the hard work, roll up our sleeves, and not allow the narrative that comes from the outside to determine who we are as a city,’ Johnson said at that Dec. 3 talk. By the numbers: While violent crime has been a persistent, intractable problem plaguing the city, the latest data from city and county agencies show that Johnson’s statement has a good chance of coming to fruition. The Cook County Medical Examiner's Office reported 192 homicides in Chicago from Jan. 1 of this year through Monday, June 30. By comparison, during the first six months of 2024, there were 289 homicides recorded in Chicago, per county data. This year's mark would also be the fewest number of homicides in the first six months of any year in about a decade, at least since 2015, when there were 226 homicides during the same period.” (Nate Rogers and Alex Ortiz/Fox 32)