A Stump Speech for President Biden
A speech that President and candidate Joe Biden should deliver to the American people
My fellow Americans:
I have little or nothing to say about the goings on at Harvard and the other elite institutions. And, for that matter, no comments on Swarthmore. I’ll leave the obsession over elite University Presidents and the goings on at the ivies to Christopher Rufo, Virginia Fox, Elise Stafanik and the media. As you know, I attended the University of Delaware, a fine state university, for my undergraduate degree. I want to make our state schools affordable, attainable and excellent. That's what I am about; those are my concerns. These people, these elites gazing at other elites should get their noses out of their — how does one say this in polite society? — alumni magazines and face towards the real world concerns of regular Americans, who, I might add, are the majority.
Over 50% of all gas stations in the United States are selling gas for under three dollars. I know, I know — that is not as sexy a headline as the ouster of the President of Harvard or even, for that matter, Haverford. But I’ll have you know that it matters more to the daily lives of ordinary Americans than the minutiae of elite institutions. Lower and moderate income people are disproportionately affected — their family budgets are affected — by high gas prices. It also disproportionately affects lower income mass transit riders, or my nickname isn’t “Amtrak Joe.” I got that nickname, by the way, because I would travel home every evening — from DC to Wilmington — to be there for my sons, who needed me, after the tragic loss of their mother and sister in a car crash in 1972. The effects of that car crash are felt in our family to this day. Tragedy, my fellow Americans, the Biden family has known.
I ask those of you who are believers to pray for my son, Hunter, who was in the throes of addiction and is in recovery. Please pray for us. In that, too, I am like most Americans, with a loved one that is an addict. Believer or non-believer, addiction knows no boundaries, except the bottom. To those families struggling like my family is, know that my Administration is doing everything it can to deal with the problem of substance abuse and help families dealing with this scourge of addiction to get the help they need. We do not abandon our family members — or our fellow Americans — to ridicule, to laughter to public scorn. For if we did, how much harder would their recovery be? How much more difficult would be their Redemption? It is something to think about as the holidays recede into the rearview mirror.
The Senate is often called '“the Millionaire’s club,” or the most elite institution in the world (even with Josh Hawley in attendance!), but I can assure you that for nearly my entire career there I was still Amtrak Joe. And my Administration has been good to mass transit. Because I, too, was once a daily commuter. Heck, I wasn’t given the limo treatment until I was Vice President and security concerns demanded that I go fancy. They pulled me into that limo and Air Force Two kicking and screaming. Commander Biden has never forgiven Secret Service!
And there were no lulus, no easy money book deals or speeches to Citibank for me when I was in the Senate. You know, that’s not how I roll. And when I leave, you can be sure there will be no Saudi billions following me out the door. Jared Kushner, we cannot fail to note, was Harvard, Class of 2003, with honors. Such a patriot, that son of my opposition. Charmed, I’m sure.
And speaking about money, we should speak about the state of the economy. As far as the economy goes, we are doing quite a bit better then the media is telling you. There are a lot of big macro numbers thrown around, analyzed by professors at elite universities on TV and in the papers who, quite frankly, are making six-figure salaries and don’t feel the price of bacon or vegetable oil. They don’t even pay with cash! To them, shopping for groceries involves small numbers transferred from their account to the bottom line at Whole Foods or Amazon Prime. That is not the lived experience of the majority of Americans.
We are coming out of bad inflation. And, before that, were the Plague years, which were a terrible hardship on all of us. It is through that prism that I am asking you to judge the performance of this Administration. Are you better off now more than you were when my Administration took over, in the heat of the Plague years? What I can tell you is that real incomes and real wages are rising and will continue to rise. Layoffs are low; unemployment is low. Wage growth is compatible with inflation, which is under control. Labor — which my Administration and me personally have championed — is strong; as strong as its ever been. The decade of near-zero interest rates has left the building, I’m sorry to say, for the immediate future. We are hopeful, however, that interest rates will drop to 3% by year’s end. I cannot guarantee that, of course; that is the job of the Fed. But I won’t sugar coat it or lie. I’ll leave lies about the state of the economy to the other guy.
I would like to once again advocate for the cause of free Community College. It has been one of the core campaign planks of the Biden-Harris ticket and a cause that needs another four years of advocacy at the Executive level. It is also, I might add, an idea that is alien to my predecessor and chief adversary. Wherever one stands on the culture war issue, community colleges exist largely for vocational enhancement. And there has been, over the years, bipartisan support for the idea. Former Tennessee Governor Bill Haslam is a supporter. For those that want to improve their employment prospects or are just curious about the world. Community colleges won't make page A1 above-the-fold, but that's not what I’m after. Sure, it would make my job easier if they covered the news that affects the majority of Americans. But you and I know that the media is biased in their coverage towards the institutions that they themselves attended. It is a bias as old as time, but we must look out for ourselves on a field that is rigged towards the elites (as if they didn’t already have such an incredible advantage).
Finally — and on that topic — I want you to know that I will speak for you, the ordinary American, in the halls of power. I will speak for the families of the addicted. I will speak to those who have experienced tragedy. The one who pays his taxes, the one who struggles with child care, I am your President. The wealthy don’t need tax breaks; the angry don’t need retribution. I am here to to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable — if it is an affliction — with their fare share of taxes. Trump’s tax cuts increased inequities to alarming degrees during the pandemic. My economic policies have lessened the chasm between the haves and the have nots, which is necessary for a stable society. I understand the concerns of the commuters on Amtrak because, for many years, I was one.
I am Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. the 46th and current President of the United States. I am asking for your vote, to finish the job that I started. Thank you for your time.